Doctor Syndrome

Consider your audience. Regardless if it is your colleagues, subordinates, family or children. We have each had an experience of going to the doctor and during the diagnosis this long Latin / scientific verbiage spews from their lips... A doctor could scare you into thinking that a hang nail is a terminal condition. Doc, just tell me I have a cold - it's going to suck, my throat is sore, and some bacteria is in my nose; and hopefully that I will be fine after this...and that... I trust you regardless or how you say it as long as you help me in the right direction.

How do you encourage others or explain things? Are you perceptive of their situation? Do you consider the environment or scenario when conveying the message? When a child asks a question do you break it down so they can understand? Are you sensitive to the situation if need be? When they are hurt because they did something that they shouldn't are you the comforter first, then the corrector?

I have found myself guilty of forgetting the who and where I am when dealing with the what.

God Bless - Joe

Swishy Pants and a Fishing Pole

Do you have an event in your childhood that stands out and now when something triggers it a flood of memories stream through your mind? I have two really. One of mine will always be snow; sledding down the hills at my Grandparent's house. I had the "swishy" coverall pants that you could get some distance in. I remember I would step back from the hill and then jump sliding down on my knees or rear end. I ruined so many sets of the coveralls that way. I used a sled too - but that was missing something :).

I also remember falling asleep on the long car ride to the lake that my father picked out. We would get to the dock and set the boat in the water while it was still dark. I remember floating on the shore casting along the banks by the docks until the sky would change. The pink and orange colors on the horizon are still very vivid in my mind. The cold water on the fishing lines and the dew on the boat.

What memories are you sharing now that later will be memory triggering events? It does not have to be Disney World or even an expensive vacation. In fact, I do not remember any of that stuff. When I think of my childhood and search for what joys I remember as a kid - that is it. Simple.

"Today is yesterday's tomorrow." ~ Anon.

God Bless - Joe

Parental Fashion Curse

I had a pair of JNCO's. OK that was a tiny fib... I had several. Including the 42" around the feet ones that two people rightfully could have worn. I even "sagged" my pants a little. By a little I mean I shown my boxers a bit and let them (the pants) ride on my hip bones before tightening my belt. I wore black. I was gothic. I wore make up. Yes that even included black nail polish. I am tattooed, with my first inking at age 16. What the hell was I thinking? I know now, what my parents felt like.

The 80's should have never been. Boys wearing girls jeans is not cool. Tapered jeans and ginormous shoes are seriously sick... and by sick I am not referring to the modern lingo that someone used to create a paradoxal meaning or some odd sense of an oxymoron calling it "freedom of speech." I think every parent will live this curse. Just saying...

Home Birth? Oh, you're one of those...

During the home birth we lit a candle. The alter was placed beside the pool where we were having the baby. As the labor neared the end, the chanting increased. The midwife summoned the spirits and sacrificed the lamb.

Seriously - the looks that I receive when I explain that we have out children at home always amazes me. None of the above is true. That is a cult. There are, to be fair, a large amount of people that accept the concept but have the "it's not for me" attitude. There is nothing wrong with that feeling. It is a real feeling to be uneasy or unsure about things you are unfamiliar with or uneducated on. 

Home birth, is just that a birth at home. There are several available options available and no weird rituals need to take place. The people whom tend the birth are highly trained, with lots of experience. The Midwife, or professional overseeing the birth, supports from a distance while the natural event happens. Please note that I am not opposed to a hospital. Everything has its place and even home births can be halted and transported to a hospital if things are not going problem free. There is no rushing around at home. You can birth in any almost any position that is comfortable. As a father - the best part was actually being able to comfort my wife and most importantly catching the baby.

Aside from sending lots of pro statistics your way I propose this: Consider that birth is not a condition to be treated where a body does know what to do. I challenge you to research the case. If you want a good show to watch you could watch the Business of Being Born. It is bias towards home birth but is very interesting. In addition I am always open to responding to comments or emails.

God Bless - Joe

Paid Maternity and Paternity Time

The idea of a male in the work place being accredited with being a dad, more so than a pat on the back or congrats is hard to come by according to a recent article on Shine. The article looks at a work life balance of men in the work place vs. women and a combination of the two. The subject has been a nag to me for some time so I thought about taking a once over through the subject. During the creation of this article and post I have adapted some thoughts along the way. In addition I have updated the petition to reflect both parents since I see an overwhelming amount of emails that are also stating that unpaid maternity leave is also a concern. In creation I was looking from an egocentrical (self view). I have since adapted the petition and views to reflect both parents whom should have the ability and financial means to bond with a child at the time of birth.

Women perform a very hard task of carrying the child and then bringing it into this world. I would never discredit that physically a mother endures much more than any man will understand. However, I challenge that a mother and a father should be entitled to substantial amounts of paid time off to care for his or her young one for bonding time. The culture should consider that if the desired effect is a present man and or woman in a child’s life then the allowance needs to be made for that bonding time after birth. Not to mention that in today's world there are many single dads and mom’s stay at home dads. There are many more than when this type of legislation started and companies adopted the concepts. Imagine a family bonding after the newborn comes into this world vs. jumping right back into the hustle-and-bustle of the accepted normal demands. The USneeds to update PATERNITY and MATERNITY leave statuses to reflect modern times and follow suit with other countries.

While the US does protect up to 12 weeks unpaid leave with the use of FMLA it does not guarantee any form of pay which at this point in parenting is essential in the event that the parents are not using any other forms of public assistance. 

Special interest groups challenge traditions all the time. Make a change. Visit the petition that I have started on www.Change.org. Start the movement HERE.

Re-post, Tweet or Share on Facebook. 100 Votes gets this recognized for further consideration.

Failing (Forward!)

While watching the outcomes of the election this year I heard a phrase that I like. Regardless of who I prefer in an election, I do like, and always have liked, the thought of "Forward!" Popularized by President Obama, I think that this plays a large part in our lives as parents. In fact, there is a popular John Maxwell book entitled Failing Forward. 

The concept is this: Learn from the present and adapt. Take the so called failures and use them towards our advantage. This is more than a "learn from your mistakes" concept. Own the failure and adapt. Make a plan on what you want to happen. Take that plan and perform against it. Check the results from the plan you performed. Make some adjustments and start the plan again. This is not a science, but a business proven model to continually improve the results. If we were to simply acknowledge a mistake and take a completely new path then you are essentially starting over. If you were to do nothing and continue the pattern that lead to the failure then you are insane, as indicated by Albert Einstein. (His idea of insanity was to perform the same actions expecting different results.)  

Adapt. Fail Forward!

God Bless - Joe

A whole nation with hunch backs.

"Don't stand too close to the TV," my parents would holler. They were convinced that it was bad for your sight. That proved to be somewhat true, which you can read here, but not the entire story. What about today? What things now will be myths now, and maybe true later? The fact remains, that even though there is not an entire case behind the alleged TV being bad for the eyes - there is a certain generation that will never forget that. You may even pass that along to your kids.
I propose that we begin a stressing to our young ones that too much time on your smart device is bad for your posture and will make you hunch later in life. Seriously, look at the posture of most youth when texting or Facebooking. First of all many people, not just kids, pull out their devices at any given chance. Whether it is at dinner, on a date, sitting and waiting, or just bored looking for something to do - out pops the device. Swipe.. swipe... swipe... tap... tap...tap... In addition to that, remember the fundamentals of posture? When is the last time you seen that in conjunction to a smart device?

For some reason when I imagine what the future would be like my mind drifted to the movie Wall-e, where people are severely overweight since they are on mobile chairs. Granted, the phones will not make you over weight, but they can aid in poor posture. Take a moment and watch the people around you and how they sit or lounge while on their device. If you agree, do like mother did... tell them it is bad for your posture and you will become a hunchback. Pass it along!

God Bless - Joe